Matteo Lane

Matteo Lane with Desus & Mero. HILARIOUS!!! Who was it that thought he was funny? Yeah... I found this guy's Instagram two or three years ago and was into the mustache. I saw some of his stand up on YouTube and mainly remember him singing, though he was funny enough. I'm surprised to see him

Matteo Lane with Desus & Mero. HILARIOUS!!!

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by Anonymousreply 1July 21, 2017 10:25 PM

Who was it that thought he was funny?

by Anonymousreply 2July 21, 2017 10:39 PM

Yeah... I found this guy's Instagram two or three years ago and was into the mustache. I saw some of his stand up on YouTube and mainly remember him singing, though he was funny enough. I'm surprised to see him on Colbert to be honest. Didn't think his career was going anywhere.

I'm just gonna post some pics from his IG:

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by Anonymousreply 3July 21, 2017 10:48 PM

Also a solid illustrator.

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by Anonymousreply 10July 21, 2017 10:49 PM

I want to see Desus & Mero spit roast Matteo! That would be HOT!

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by Anonymousreply 12July 21, 2017 10:52 PM

What a tiny little waist. 24? 26"?

I don't think that Italian eats any pasta.

by Anonymousreply 13July 21, 2017 11:29 PM

He's actually pretty funny. I wonder if he's performed on any Atlantis cruises.

by Anonymousreply 14July 21, 2017 11:54 PM

I thought he was shorter. But, he looks ~ 5'10" next to Max who is listed at 6'0"".

by Anonymousreply 15July 21, 2017 11:56 PM

I would ignore the fun femme and fuck him. My erect cock and that stache would go well together.

by Anonymousreply 16July 22, 2017 12:11 AM

R16, I bet he's a power bottom! Yum!

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by Anonymousreply 17July 22, 2017 12:13 AM

That ass needs to be fucked real hard!

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by Anonymousreply 18July 22, 2017 12:15 AM

He's cute, apart from that haircut, which looks good on nobody.

Max's bf is the most handsome guy on the thread.

by Anonymousreply 19July 22, 2017 12:15 AM

Who wouldn't wanna fuck that tight little bod?

by Anonymousreply 20July 22, 2017 12:16 AM

Now that I think about it, I feel like I might've had a group thing with this guy a couple of years ago. Don't think he was rocking the stache then, though.

by Anonymousreply 21July 22, 2017 12:16 AM

Facially, he reminds me of the younger half of the Maverick Men. Similar sharpish nose.

by Anonymousreply 22July 22, 2017 12:17 AM

He should bring more singing into his act; it would be more original than gay jokes.

"The Barber of Sayville" "The (Cock) Ring Cycle."

But who would bother to have a relationship when he's showing his ass off so often on Instagram?

by Anonymousreply 25July 22, 2017 12:20 AM

Times has changed. People like to see the goods upfront. YMMV.

Instagram seems to havee usurped even gay apps. I don't want one because it seems hard to not to come off as tacky or boring, but I'm sure it's a great tool to get laid.

by Anonymousreply 26July 22, 2017 12:27 AM

r14 throws Paris Is Burning-quality shade.

by Anonymousreply 27July 22, 2017 2:05 AM

Saw this in the Sean Spicer Thread.

Kyle Griffin = Matteo Lane?

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by Anonymousreply 28July 22, 2017 3:18 AM

He's attractive in those Instagram pics... when he's not moving or speaking.

My god being around him must be exhausting.

by Anonymousreply 30July 22, 2017 6:04 AM

Am I being harsh in calling this a bit of a minstrel act?

by Anonymousreply 31July 22, 2017 7:15 AM

I would rather fuck him then listen to his embarrassing stand-up.

by Anonymousreply 32July 22, 2017 11:18 AM

That stand-up act is terrible. Maybe good enough for open mic night on a gay cruise but not even close to late night network TV standards. Colbert's booking director must have owed him a favor.

by Anonymousreply 33July 22, 2017 11:26 AM

I think Colbert is a deeply closeted person. But not so deeply that it doesn't bubble up frequently in things he says or body language.

by Anonymousreply 34July 22, 2017 11:35 AM

R28 That's trippy. They look so alike. They must be made aware of each other.

by Anonymousreply 35July 22, 2017 1:26 PM

He needs to stop with the canned smirk. It's like reverse duckface.

by Anonymousreply 37December 19, 2017 5:21 AM

He needs to work on his act as much as he works on his body.

by Anonymousreply 38December 19, 2017 6:43 AM

r28, I seriously thought that's who this thread was about and was confused because I had thought he was a reporter not a comic and decided he must just have a very political and current events focused twitter acct.

Can we get them in the same room together to prove they both exist?

by Anonymousreply 39December 19, 2017 7:26 AM

[quote]Don't know @MatteoLane but have been compared to him so many times that I'm concerned we're actually the same person.

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by Anonymousreply 40December 19, 2017 7:33 AM

I've seen this guy's schtick before

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by Anonymousreply 41December 19, 2017 7:38 AM

"And what's the deal with those TV dinners? Amirite??"

Is the pharmacy joke part of a starter comedian kit? I've heard it many times.

He's cute, and has a great body though! I'm sure lots of people tell him he's hilarious.

I'd like to see him and Kyle having a torrid affair. Mateo would greet him by saying "Kyle! I mustache you a question!" After which hot sex would ensue.

by Anonymousreply 42December 19, 2017 7:56 AM

Countdown until he does porn.

by Anonymousreply 43December 19, 2017 8:14 AM

He's attractive UNTIL you get to his Instagram....as usual.

by Anonymousreply 44December 19, 2017 12:55 PM

Was he assigned female at birth?

by Anonymousreply 45December 19, 2017 1:18 PM

Matteo is clearly the OP.

by Anonymousreply 46December 19, 2017 4:13 PM

His brother is hotter and also gay.

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by Anonymousreply 47December 19, 2017 4:15 PM

His brother's married too

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by Anonymousreply 48December 19, 2017 4:17 PM

He recently got fucked by a Magic Mike Vegas dancer.

I like his podcast. It's breezy and doesn't aspire to any great profundity or expertise. I find his co-host fascinating.

by Anonymousreply 50December 20, 2017 1:02 AM

[quote]He recently got fucked by a Magic Mike Vegas dancer.

Which one? (scroll)

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by Anonymousreply 51December 20, 2017 1:05 AM

Was it Sebastian Gonzalez? He's the only cast member that I can see who Matteo is following

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by Anonymousreply 53December 20, 2017 1:15 AM

I'm doubt he even bothered to get the guys name R53.

by Anonymousreply 54December 20, 2017 1:20 AM

He didn't say, but from looking at the show IG, there's black guy who has a boyfriend (and a twin!).

by Anonymousreply 55December 20, 2017 1:21 AM

It's called Inside the Closet.

by Anonymousreply 56December 20, 2017 1:23 AM

Perhaps. I don't have IG so I couldn't look at who Matteo follows.

by Anonymousreply 57December 20, 2017 1:24 AM

This is the guy I thought it might be. I only gave a cursory look to a few of the other dancers' IGs so guy in bed with other guy stood out.

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by Anonymousreply 58December 20, 2017 1:28 AM

"Dancer" pretty much means whore right?

by Anonymousreply 60December 20, 2017 1:42 AM

This one (foreground) is/was a Mariah dancer (orderly?). He was the one chosen to give a personal dance to an audience member on Ellen. Apart from one cookie smelling pic from a Pleasantville style ad, and a cocked hip pose beside James Corden, his IG doesn't ping at all. :(

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by Anonymousreply 61December 20, 2017 2:29 AM

With that mustache, I'd like to fuck his mouth like a hairy pussy.

by Anonymousreply 63January 22, 2018 3:45 PM

The closed-captioning typist was Dan Quayle.

by Anonymousreply 64January 22, 2018 3:58 PM

What kind of a name is Matteo? Does he think he's Felix the Cat?

by Anonymousreply 66January 22, 2018 5:00 PM

We’re disgusting. But I love @itsevanwilliams

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by Anonymousreply 67January 22, 2018 5:05 PM

His ex worked in the Obama administration and travelled over the world with them. The ex is married to a much older man...

Detectives La Toya, who is the ex?

by Anonymousreply 68April 18, 2018 1:00 AM

Ugh. These two are so hot together. And separately.

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by Anonymousreply 69May 8, 2018 5:40 PM

Matteo's gotten much bigger since I found out about him. Should he work on his triceps?

by Anonymousreply 71May 8, 2018 6:28 PM

They look pretty good to me. Of course I like bigger, but his muscle size is great for his frame.

But... I wouldn't mind seeing him huge

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by Anonymousreply 72May 8, 2018 6:41 PM

Who's his ex in the political scene?

by Anonymousreply 73July 27, 2018 7:22 PM

His current boyfriend's name is Kike? How unfortunate.

by Anonymousreply 74July 27, 2018 7:24 PM

He lost me with the gay wave.

by Anonymousreply 75July 27, 2018 7:29 PM

Like someone else said upthread, his Instagram just showcases exhausting narcissism. And the "trademark smirk" reminds me of Andy Cohen's open mouth smile, which just reeks of artifice. Also, his stand-up isn't funny.

by Anonymousreply 76July 27, 2018 7:37 PM

like like like like like like like

by Anonymousreply 77July 27, 2018 7:37 PM

Jesus I made it through 3 seconds without stopping it. Can't stand the over-the-top - SOOOO I'M GAYYYYY LIKE JUST WANTED TO LIKE WAVE AND LIKE SHAKE AND MAKE SURE YOU LIKE KNEEEEEEEW.

by Anonymousreply 78July 27, 2018 7:40 PM

Take away the abs and what's left?

by Anonymousreply 79July 27, 2018 7:48 PM

The self-loathing in this thread is off the charts.

by Anonymousreply 81July 27, 2018 10:12 PM

I would so like to put my dick up Matteo's butt.

by Anonymousreply 82July 27, 2018 11:04 PM

R81 what part is self loathing? If you hate someone who's hideously annoying, the way to describe it is self loathing? That's just stupid. I actually like and love myself a lot. I just don't like over-the-top annoying people - gay or straight.

by Anonymousreply 83July 29, 2018 2:30 AM

He really won me over with his cuteness in his comedy routines.

I agree his Instagrams are off putting. His constant routine is to show off as much skin as possible and to mug goofily and outrageously (as if that mitigates his whoriness). But I do like his comedy.

by Anonymousreply 84July 29, 2018 2:51 AM

Every Disney Character is gay

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by Anonymousreply 85February 20, 2019 6:44 AM

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